Feelings
by Hayako Hikari
Summary: what happens when an immortal can't stand it anymore... what happens when he thinks that he doesn't deserve to have feelings... what happens when he is in love..... a yaoi fan fiction


Hope you like this and I know that Hidan looks to girly….

Naruto© Masashi Kishimoto

Fan Fiction© *Hikari*

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Hidan arrives from a mission, of which he had been sent alone. When he enters the Akatsuki base he passes by Deidara and Sasori, but they don't even look at him. Tobi passes by him, running to Deidara, but he also ignores him. And the same happens with every single member of the Akatsuki, they all ignore him, they don't even look at him. He gives his mission report to Pein and goes to his room.

The same room that he shares with Kakuzu, his partner. He enters the room and finds Kakuzo seated at one of the desks with some papers in front of him. Kakuzu looks at him and for some moments, a little worry can be seen in his eyes.

"Hidan, you're bleeding!" Kakuzu says, surprising Hidan.

"It's nothing, don't worry…" Hidan begins, but is interrupted.

"Can you please stop bleeding, do you know how much it costs to take care of the floor?!"

Hidan looks at him and bites his lip, trying to stop the tears of frustration that are trying to fall.

"It's good to know that you worry about me." He says with sarcasm, and then enters the bathroom, locking himself inside.

"Stupid. And I was thinking that he was worried about me. But NO, the floor is more important. I may be immortal but that doesn't mean that I feel less pain."

He turns on the water in the bathtub, filling it. Laying in the bathtub, slowly the many wounds he has on his body stop bleeding and are finally clean. He is finally able to take his bath, but the pain is just too much. He leaves the bathroom and finds Kakuzu still seated at his desk, but the bloody spot he had left on the floor has disappeared. Hidan, with much effort, lays on the bed. But because of his many wounds a moan of pain escapes his lips. Kakuzu looks at him.

"Hidan could you please stop moaning, I can't understand you. You like pain so much and you are moaning with pain." Kakuzo looks at him. "It's truly pathetic." Hidan refuses to look at Kakuzu, closing his hands and teeth with rage.

"You know just because I like pain and because I'm immortal it doesn't mean that I'm not human." Hidan stands up from the bed and leaves the room, leaving Kakuzu looking stupidly at the door.

"What the hell is wrong with him?!" thinks Kakuzo. Hidan leaves to the florets that surround the Base.

"It's always the same I never deserve love do I?" thinks Hidan. He walks through the florets letting his rage run free.

"It's always the same! I don't have the right to complain! I can't be human, just because I'm immoral he thinks I don't have feelings… but in reality all this rage is all because he doesn't care about me… why?!" Hidan keeps thinking out loud. "Am I that bad…? Don't I deserve to be happy?"

+In the mean time in the Akatsuki base.+

Kakuzu was walking from side to side in their room.

"What the hell did I do to him?! I didn't say anything that wasn't true!" He stops walking and looks through the window. He leaves the room and decides to go search for Hidan.

Hidan was seated next to a tree.

"I've had enough of this. I wish I could find someone who understands me…" The time passes and Hidan ends up fainting from the blood loss and the many wounds he has on his body.

In the mean time Kakuzu is looking everywhere for Hidan.

"Where the hell did he go?!" He thinks, a little worried. "Maybe I shouldn't have talked to him like that, for some reason it affected him, but isn't he the one who brags about liking pain?"

Kakuzu walks through the forest and finally finds Hidan laying on the ground unconscious next to a tree. He runs to him.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu kneels next to Hidan. "Hidan wake up! You're scaring me!"

There is nothing, Hidan does not wake up.

Kakuzu decides to carry him to the base. When he holds Hidan in his arms, he realizes how tiny he really his, and how easy it is to carry the other man.

Kakuzo arrives at the base and goes to his room, laying Hidan on his bed. When he takes Hidan's coat off, he sees for the first time the many wounds that he has on his body.

"No wonder you were moaning in pain, this is too much even for you. I'm sorry Hidan…" Kakuzu says to himself. Taking care of the wounds the best, he tries to reduce Hidan's pain. Some hours pass by and Hidan doesn't wake up. Kakuzu ends up falling asleep, holding Hidan's body protectively.

Hidan finally wakes up at dawn. He feels that he is laying on something soft and that something warm is over his body bringing him warmth. He cuddles closer to the warmth, feeling two strong arms holding him and bringing him even closer to the warmth. Slowly he opens his eyes, trying to get used to the penumbra that surrounds him. When he is used to it, he realizes that he is in his room and that the warmth is coming from Kakuzu's body, who is holding him.

"What the hell is happening here? Why am I laying with him?!" Hidan looks around, but ends up closing his eyes because of the pain he is feeling. Looking at his own chest and legs, he realizes that his wounds were treated and bandaged. "Could it be that he did this?" Hidan thinks, confused.

In the mean time Kakuzu wakes up. He looks at Hidan who is still in his arms and smiles. He whispers next to Hidan's hair.

"Welcome back to the world of the living." Kakuzu looks at Hidan, Hidan looks up confused.

"K-Kakuzu?" Hidan looks at him in the eyes. Kakuzu smiles at him, Hidan realizes that the Mask that usually covers Kakuzu's face is gone.

"Hidan, I don't know what I did to make you angry but I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked like that." Kakuzu looks at him in the eyes. Hidan looks away.

"You don't understand."

Kakuzu looks confused at Hidan.

"No one does." Hidan makes Kakuzu let him go and stands up from the bed, staggering a little. He sits with his back turned to Kakuzu.

"Then explain it to me Hidan, I want to understand…" Kakuzu looks at him and realizes the soft movements of his shoulders, almost like sobs. "H-Hidan?" He stands up and touches his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Hidan stands up and looks at him, tears run down his face. "You aren't different from the others, Kakuzu. Do you think I don't know that for you I am only a killing machine? After all immortals don't have feelings!" Hidan looks at him, Kakuzu is so surprised that he can't even say a word. "I don't deserve love right?! Just pain, only pain. 'Ah, an immortal, let's hurt him he likes it!!...'"

Kakuzu recovers from the shock and hugs Hidan. Hidan fights to free himself.

"Let me go! I said let me go!!!"

Kakuzu holds him tight.

"Shhh... Hidan its okay, I'm here… please calm down…"

Hidan slowly becomes calmer. Kakuzu looks him in the eyes and smiles sweetly. He cleans Hidan's tears with his hands. "You are wrong Hidan… I'm different from everybody. And it isn't you who doesn't deserve love, it's me that doesn't deserve your love…"

Hidan looks at him confused.

"W-What are you trying to say." Hidan looks him in the eyes. Kakuzu smiles and caresses his face sweetly.

"What I'm trying to say Hidan, is that for me your feelings are very important. I know that I don't show it but that's my way to protect myself." Hidan looks at him confused. "Hidan… what I want to say is… I like you in a way that isn't allowed, at least to me, in a way that will make you hate me." He looks away.

"K-Kakuzu what are you trying to say!?" Hidan's voice shows a little hope, but Kakuzu blames that on his own hope. He looks at Hidan and breathes deeply; his eyes are on Hidan's lips.

"Forgive me…" Kakuzu whispers, Hidan looks at him confused, suddenly he feels Kakuzu's lips on his own, the kiss is sweet, trying to show without words what is in Kakuzu's heart. Kakuzu closes his eyes, praying that Hidan won't hate him. Suddenly he feels Hidan's arms around him and his lips kissing back. Kakuzu opens his eyes, surprised to find Hidan with his eyes closed and blushing a little. Closing his eyes again, they kiss for a long time, after a while they break the kiss. Hidan hides his face in Kakuzu neck, embarrassed. Kakuzu hugs him, still unable to believe what has just happened.

"Could this mean that he feels the same about me? But what does he see in me? I'm a disfigured monster and he is the personification of the word 'Beautiful'"! Thinks Kakuzu.

Hidan snuggles in Kakuzu's embrace; his hands are on Kakuzu's chest, feeling his heart beating.

"K-Kakuzu… this isn't a joke is it? You aren't only making fun of me right? What just happened isn't a momentary thing I hope." Kakuzo feels tears soaking his neck. He bites his lips.

"Hidan…" He whispers. "Are you sure that this is what you want? Have you looked at me? I'm repulsive… are you sure that you want to be in my arms." Kakuzu stares at the wall, avoiding Hidan's eyes. Hidan inches away a little and looks at Kakuzu, smiling sweetly when he sees him biting his lip.

"Kakuzu, don't say that you're repulsive, to me you are the most beautiful being that exists. I don't care about what other people think. Because beauty isn't only on the outside but in the inside as well, and that beauty only I can see." Hidan smiles and makes Kakuzu look at his eyes. "And yes Kakuzu, I'm sure, this is my place, here in your arms… I love you." He blushes hard as Kakuzo looks at him, in his eyes can be seen how much he loves Hidan.

"Hi-Hidan." He kisses him passionately. "I love you too… I love you so much…" Kakuzu smiles, Hidan smiles back and hugs him tight.

"I have the right to have feelings after all…" Says Hidan, a little sleepy, the fatigue is getting him. Kakuzu realizes and holds him in his arms, making him smile and blush a little.

"I love you…" Hidan falls asleep.

"I love you too." Kakuzu smiles when he sees that Hidan has fallen asleep. "You are the most important thing that I have in my life Hidan, you and your feelings."

THE END


End file.
